HEY!!!!

Haha.. I think I am feeling lota lota better...
Thanks to Keng.. And Galindo...
Haha..

Oh.. Of course.. Thanks to Elaine and Esther...
These 2 girls have been always by my side..

Thanks to Yuni and Nirija for comforting me... Haha.. During the OC lesson...

Well..
KENG: Dun worry.. I will work hard on crying in front of you guys.. Haha.. Cuz i thought, showing the best side, will not let friends get affect.. That is my side of thinking la.. So if you see me cry.. Is when.. I am really... Cannot take it le..

Galindo: Hey! Thanks... Anyway.. I am scared that.. your phone will burst.. haha.. cuz.. RECENTLY.. I have tons and tons of problems..
NO WORRY! I PROMISE to show the real side of me.. OK?

Anyway.. I have decided to solve the situation.. myself...
Cuz.. this is all my fault.. As you can seee...
If you dun know why happened.. Can juz ask me.. I am sure.. I will TELL FRIENDS!!! Haha..

Smiling is indeed important to me..
That is why I am smiling in front of everyone..

Cuz.. I like to be happy too.. Sometimes, the smile is a real one..
But sometimes.. is.. well.. a squeezed out one..

I get affected easily..
And I admit that I am really sensitive...

If anything happen, I will think that people will be laughing at me..
I dun know.. Although I am confident, but sometimes, I will still be not confident with what others think of me..

In front of my parents.. I have to be a 100 mark kid..
In front of my sister.. I have to be a 100 mark sister..
In front of my relatives.. I have to be a 100 mark person who is good at everything.

I want to let it go..
But sometimes.. Due to many problems, I cannot.. I cant bear to tell my Mother that I want to give up.

They have so much high hopes in me.. I dun bare to hurt them..
So I am always holding onto the things that they pile to me...
Sometimes.. I cannot breathe. But because of the pride, my parents, I have to hold it on..

I know, as long as I have passed the test of this, i will graduate..

Outside, I look like I want to be independent, I want to be alone. I am a really cool person.
Inside, I hope I could be with my friends, my parents.. with the real me...

Today, I really decided to throw away the FAKE mask...
I want to show the real me in front of my friends, my family..

But, i hope the new friends that I am having, will not get scared by me.. Cuz of my true me..
Cuz the real me.. Is really someone who is self-centred.. Someone who hurt others....

I think.. I have made a big improvement into writing this down....

I will smile forever.. No matter what..

Waratte Banzai!

Lots of love,
SiSi