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| Now is not the right time..
Friday, October 2, 2009 | 12:06 AM | 0 Sweet Cupcake
Just a couple of days ago... something big happened to me...Or rather.. something that made me regret happened... I thought i could get over it.. I thought all the heavy workload that I am doing now will help me to recover from my sadness.. But it seems like.. it's not doing well.. I tried eating my favourite food.. But all i was doing is making me fatter and fatter.. Yup.. I gained 2 kg... Just imagine how many fats and carbonhyrates i have stuffed inside of me. In front of my parents, i have to act like someone who is really cheerful.. making them laugh all the time.. In front of my sister,i have to be a role model for her to look up to.... In front of my friends, i have to cheer them up.. Why am I always showing a mask? Why cant i just weep in front of them, cry loudly in front of them and ask them to give me a hug to say everything will be fine? That is because, i dont want others to feel unhappy with me... But it's rather tiring to hide it in front of your parents.. Well.. I thought i can get over it.. like what i always say.. But getting over it doesnt help AT ALL.. It just make me feel worse. Everytime i stop to relax, it will make me stress once more.. I thought i can do like what i said... But Apparently, I cannot... I thought since last week, i managed to do it well already. But it doenst.. it just make my life even more worse and makes me hate for who I am... Well...... I hope i could find a quay somewhere.. and RIP... I am sure.. give me a few more days.. I can get over it.. Because there are lot more of things ahead of me.. needing me to do... If i just give up because of this "small" obstacles, i will disappoint of lot of people who once look up to me... GANBARIMASU!!! Lots of love, SiSi |
