Sitting at Moberly. Alone, just keeping everything to myself. I somehow just realised that everything can be so peaceful, if you really want to. I have to agree with Evelyn. "Why do you have to make your life so miserable?" True. There are a lot of things in my life that can make me so happy, so lively and so meaningful. Why do i always brood over the same old issue? Is it because of pride? Is it because of anger or is it because of something else?

I am unsure about what i want. I tried to do what i want myself to do. But, nothing seems to be driving me to do it. All the smiles that people see are just a mask for me to show that " I am fine, I am alright, its okay dont worry much about me." But deep inside, am i really alright? Am i really fine?

Sometimes, i would blame myself for not be good enough in acting. But sometimes, i really wish i could stop acting. I hope that i could just burst out in tears, cry my lungs out just for once. Maybe this could make me feel a lot a lot better. But i dont have the courage to do so. I dont have the balls or guts to do so. I want my pride. I dont want to show anyone that i am hurt. But in the end, i get nothing but torturement.

I guess people should just say " Serve you right!" Maybe that would make me feel ton lots of better.. But nope.. it doesnt..

So now, i am alone, trying to think of what to do.. Study? Nope.. nothing is going into me..
Home? nope.. nothing warming is in there already. All i would do will just be drama, chat, talk on the phone.

Then what should i do? OH! Got it.. Remember past few days, Beatrice asked me " What will happen between a CITY girl and a VILLAGE boy?" She even asked people to write a story out of it..
Maybe i should write it?
hmmm.. okok..


A story between CITY girl and a VILLAGE boy

Normally, people would see City girl as someone who has a lot of life.
They have nothing lack in them.
Money, Friends, Entertainment. They have everything in them.
They will never get bored with their life. Instead, their everyday is filled with fun and laughter.
Their dressing will have changes everyday. To them, all these are a must.. But there are something lacking in them but they themselve cant see.

As for a Village boy, he came from somewhere where there are only his families, friends and himself. Not much of entertainment like what you see in the City. However, he have things that a City girl wouldnt have. And its something that the City Girl will never get it.

When the Village boy just came into the City, everything to him seems... so strange.
So weird and so different. He misses his friends, family and everything that he is used to.
however, he had to learn how to be independent. So he held on.
He is more hardworking than the other City Boy. He know that having what he is having now, is like a gift from the heaven. He know how to treasure it and be grateful to it.

One day, both of them met. Slowly they got together, as a couple.
However, both are from different world.
At first, both are very happy in the relationship.
Slowly, the City girl start to miss her single life. The days where she can go out with her friends.
However, the Village boy hope to be with her forever, and never be apart.

Quarrels and unhappiness start to built in.
Many times, City girl hope to back to her old life.
But Village boy held on. He knew that, if he were to give up just like this, he will regret next time in his life.

Soon, Village boy went to improve himself by learning new stuff.
All the things he does, he hopes that one day, the girl will be impressed by him.
He doesnt care if it is of what he likes. As long the girls does, everything would be fine.

Soon, the relationship came to an end.
By then they realise that..
Both of them used different ways to love each other.

City girl felt that giving the person trust will be best of both of them. In a relationship doesnt mean that you have to be with each other 24/7. Sometimes, personal space might be good too. She feels that, rather than giving into everything, voicing out would be better. Rather than just letting her have anything and everything she wants.

Village boy felt that loving her would be there for her for everything. He feels that taking care of her every part, is what a responsible guy should be doing. He doesnt mind giving up his freedom with his friends up just to be with her. All the while, no matter how unhappy, he would just let it be, because he feels that giving in would be the best way to show how much he love her. To him, loving her means pampering her.

Till then, both of them realise. But its a little too late for them.




Till now, i see a lot of things similar in the people around me.
Different way of loving, cause conflicts between people.
If they could just learn to learn in the other person's way.. Wil a relationship last long enough?
I really wonder


Alright.... CIAO~

Love
Nanako