Maybe I'm just a BITCH.. thats why today, people are doing this kind of SHIT to me...

1. I am trying to be nice, she dun appreciate it.. Instead, she gave a cold shoulder and show it as if its all MY FAULT.. or rather EVERYONE'S FAULT.. yea.. wadeva.. if you really were to be unhappy.. then jiu be unhappy bah.. Your problem.. cuz WHY? when i try to be nice, trying to find out wads happening, You choose to not tell.. so if you NOT TO TELL, then dun show that kind of SICKENING FACE.. its just SICKENING.. people around you who CARE for you, you actually give this kind of FUCKING ATTITIDE.. wadeva... when ONE DAY, people leave you cuz of your attitude, dun come or go around blaming others.... if you are going to blame others for that.. THEN DUN BLAME ME FOR BEING HARSH OR ANYTHING.. cuz I can UNDERSTAND.. but I cant ACCEPT THAT ATTITUDE....

2. You say my voice is irritating.. then how about yours? people dun say doesnt mean that they wun feel irritated... If you think that I'm irritating.. then why not look at yourself? Your laughter is also very irritating.. but others juz want to give you face? You choose not to do your work properly... then in the end... you give this kind of fucking attitude.. wads this? my fault? NO! you deserve it.. cuz you choose not to do anything...

Yes.. maybe i am juz being a bitch.. go ahead and think this way.. Your own friend.. so also very bitch.. She go around bitching about others..and she ask questions as if she is the only person in the world.. in the class.. and even when another fellow is just behind her, she will just shout that fellow's name and ask question when that fellow IS JUST BEHIND HER!!! if your friend and you can change it.... THEN I WILL CHANGE.. dun expect me to CHANGE.. cuz i wun..

3. Sometimes, i HATE myself for being HALF JAP and HALF CHI.... cuz why? people will laugh at me.. when i say.. sorry.. i dunknow much about japan.. I dun know how to speak japan.. i dun know how to do this and do that... when it has sth to do with Japan... Its because i dun grow up there.. but people think that i am just lying..

Whats the point of lying about this kind of thing? Just to let people envy? COME ON LA!! who will envy over this kind of FUCK? as if people care? people might just think that you are freak pls..

But just now, some ANGEL, just say that.. you think that being half jap and half chi very good ar.. what you mean? that i suck? juz cuz im half jap and chi? Whats wrong with that? can you just accept me no matter if i am a half jap and chi? i think you cant..

Or maybe i am just a nusicance to you? Maybe next time when i see you, i can just act like i dun know? or maybe i should stop contacting you? cuz to you, maybe i am jus a FREAK...

I am just DISAPPOINTED to hear this kind of words out from your mouth... Why must it be you?

I used to be very proud of my own blood.. maybe being a mixed blood is sth sinful.. cuz people just see me in a very differnet way....

And sometimes, seeing you caring others.. BUT JUST NOT ME.. why? is it cuz i am mixed? or maybe to you.. i am just annoying?

Why do you always think of yourself before anything? Have you ever thought of how i feel?

i really hope you will see me.. in some ways.. care for me.. just a little bit.. if not, i really dun know how to continue..

Or maybe this is wad its is hinting me.. to stop.... cuz its really getting nowhere..
i get hurt.. and you get troubled?

yea.. maybe this is the better way.. and this is the BEST ENDING ever?


How i hope i can be back to normal when i am juz into poly, being so naive and innocent.. just thinking of being happy and study well.. nothing in my mind...

But now.. everything is so different.. i feel miserable.. i feel unhappy.. i feel like not living in this world.. i feeling dying ever minute in my life.. if it were to be like this.. i would rather not see you forever...

How i hope the dance will END SOON.. so that i wun have to you see.. so that i wun have to face every minute of my life.. Even though i will miss you.. but this is the ONLY WAY to solve it..

Thanks for the BEST MEMORY ever.. but i am going to try to let it off slowly and slowly..
I'm sure i can do it.. i will make sure that i can do it..


Lots of Love
Nanako