Just as what the title said.. will the past, ever leave me alone......

I am sick and tired of people keep mentioning to me about my past.. it is over.. it is history.. it cannot be re-do... it cannot be un-do.. instead of picking onto the past, why not just look forwards, go ahead? is there even a point of poking into the past?

this is not a showing of me not willing to face the fact, the truth.. it is about the necessary to do so.. I can face the fact that i am not good enough.. but i dont see the point of you keep going back to the past and mourn over it just because you are not good enough.. other than going back to you not being good enough, why not.. think of what to do to make this issue better, what to do to solve this issue and problem.. What is the point of talking about the past? it just makes things WORSE?~ isnt it?

its just about the passport photo.. i couldnt find it.. and when i gave up, you scolded me for making you find.. THEN?! what you want me to do?!?!?! kill myself for giving up in finding? What is the point of keep finding when you know that it CANNOT BE FOUND?!?!?

In the end, it is always my fault.. Faults starts from the way i talk till the things i do.. Then insults come in..

"If you are so awesome, why till now haven find a job?"

"So lihai? then why uni dont want you? why cant you go into uni?"

" Play.. play somemore.. who ask you Year 2 dont want to study properly?"

Is this the fact?! YES.. IT IS..

I cant get into a fucking uni
I didnt get any job despite of any job interview
I didnt do well in year 2 sem 1 due to r/s problem..

I ADMIT THESE ARE ALL FACTS! but these are the FACTS that i can NEVER CHANGE..
If I can change, i wont be in this school..
If I can change, i wont be in this world either..

Sometimes, it is just hard to be in this family.. They always expects you to do this and that..

They want you to get married to this kind of people.. That kind of people NO..
They want you to do this kind of job, that kind of job NO

Forever, i have be in their way.. their set of thinking.. but they are never in mine..

I just hate it whenever somethings happens, i cannot say them.. but when something happens to me, they will grab hold of every chance just to shoot me...

IS THERE A POINT?! -.-